Life's a Playground, Have fun.

RSS

Posts tagged with "lol"

Jan 3

Haha! What?

  • Vivian: Your grandmother used to hide in coffins and scare people.
  • Vlad: She was a mortician?
  • Vivian: No, she just liked to bother people.
Oct 6

Deep thoughts with Jake.

  • Me: I'm hungry, but I'm not hungry.
  • Vlad: That's deep bro.
  • Me: No, I mean like I'm hungry, but I'm afraid to eat.
  • Vlad: That's even deeper.
  • Me: Does your boyfriend get whiskey dick?
  • Friend: No! He doesn't drink whiskey.

Lisa is Asian.

  • Lisa: I'm waiting to do anything with a guy until my marriage day.
  • Me: Calm down, Mulan. You don't have to worry about "honoring your family"...

Men having to deal with women for eating the apple on the tree.

  • "God doesn't hate gays guys. He's just upset that they found a loop hole in the system."
  • Daniel Tosh

Why I love my job:

  • Me: Would you like to add the salad bar for $2.99?
  • Guest: No thank you. We tossed it around for a bit and decided we didn't want it.